What Did She Say

A post in five parts: My relationship with Dear Evan Hansen; the International Premiere; a short synopsis of the show; my review; TL;DR.

I sit here, staring at my blinking cursor, not sure where to start. I have a lot of thoughts about the show, and almost a two-year relationship with it. I guess I’ll start at the beginning, when Dear Evan Hansen first appeared on my radar. Come From Away, a beloved musical of mine, was up for best musical and Dear Evan Hansen joined it among the list of nominees. It was a very contentious year at the Tonys with very vehement fans in three camps – Come From Away; Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812; and Dear Evan Hansen. My partner and I were both sure Come From Away would win the Tony. It didn’t. Dear Evan Hansen did. Here is their Tony performance. This was my first taste of the show, and this is a great song with a message many (most?) of us can relate to.

https://youtu.be/h9rf5wFq3zk

I knew Dear Evan Hansen had to be a great musical to have beat out Come From Away. When we first listened to the cast album, we could easily see how it took the crown. The songs are catchy and relatable. There’s bound to be at least one character in the show that resonates with you. Because Dear Evan Hansen took the Tony home that I thought should have gone to Come From Away, I’ve always been playfully resentful of the show. It had something to prove to me. After seeing Dear Evan Hansen, my partner and I disagree on which was most deserving of that 2017 Tony. I still think Come From Away is slightly better. My partner agrees with the award show and thinks Dear Evan Hansen took its rightful place as Best Musical.

But really, do we have to choose? Both musicals are wonderful in different ways (and both are currently playing in Toronto – lucky us!) Now to focus on the point of this post, Dear Evan Hansen.

We’ve been listening to the cast album since the Tony win. The kids have really embraced this show – especially our 12-year-old. She was more than a little miffed that her dad and I were given tickets and were going to see the show without her. We wanted to see it before we made a decision whether she could go see it. It’s one thing to know the songs, but there can be a lot to the book of a show, and you never know if a musical will be appropriate by just the cast recording. At 12, she’s on the cusp of the recommended viewing age, so we’ve made a judgment call. We’ll be seeing it again, bringing her with us next time. With that news, and a toque from the show, she’s happy with us again.

We arrived early to see the Royal Alexandra Theatre looking stunning wrapped in blue for the International Premiere of Dear Evan Hansen. They’d rolled out the blue carpet, ready for the big night.

I took my spot along the blue carpet as Canadian celebs began to arrive.

Now to get to the part about what I thought of the show.

The show begins by introducing us to Evan and Connor, two kids who are not having the easiest time with their teen years, to say the least. Evan is awkward and anxious. Connor is angry. Neither of them seem to have any friends. We see them interacting with their families and we start off with ‘Anybody Have a Map?’ sung by Evan and Connor’s moms which, as a parent of teens and tweens having their own hard times, hits me right in the gut. I resonate so hard with this song.

I really do love it. (I even bought the shirt).

It’s not a spoiler to tell you Connor dies by suicide, since it’s what the story revolves around, and it happens at the beginning of the show. The story follows Evan as he goes along with a misunderstanding about a letter he wrote to himself. Connor’s parents find the letter on Connor and they, understandably, think it was written by Conner to Evan. “Dear Evan Hansen… Sincerely, Me.” The tale continues from there.

By the time we got partway through ‘For Forever’ I was bookended by people sniffling and dabbing tears. ‘Requiem’ had them going again and once ‘You Will Be Found’ was in full swing, I had joined them in the sniffling and dabbing. The houselights came up and we began intermission by all composing ourselves.

The music, lyrics, and book are all strong and it’s easy to see why this show has captured the hearts of teens. It’s their story. Does anyone feel as if they fit in? I even wrote a post about the feeling years ago. I think it’s something most of us understand on a deep level. As an aside, I also think it’s why most of the Dear Evan Hansen fandom is willing to forgive all the truly crappy stuff Evan does throughout the show. I’m not as quick to jump on the Evan-is-awesome bandwagon. I have some big issues with his character and how everyone seems to just gloss over some really bullshit behaviour including manipulation and gaslighting. I also don’t think his intentions were altruistic (to help ease Connor’s family’s pain), even at the beginning. I see it all as a way to protect himself from getting caught in the lie(s) he told – or went along with – and to avoid anything uncomfortable. There are enough blogs out there about this topic that I’m not going to get into it any further here.

If you’re a parent or have kids in your life, especially if they’re going through their own stuff, this show speaks to you on another level. That’s the level that really hit us hard. Watching parents try to do their best and flounder and flail – just wanting their kids to be ok.

Another compelling part of the show is how technology plays into all this. How we connect – or don’t. How we ‘make our mark’ – or don’t. How we fit in – or don’t. I loved the set and how social media and tech is shown to be a big part of the story. I’m a sucker for typeface as part of the set. The suspended orchestra was also impressive. It not only looked cool, but it’s neat to see the musicians as they create the music for us.

Dear Evan Hansen is visually, aurally, and emotionally engaging throughout.

Having said all that, I enjoy the show and listen to the songs often, but it’s not without some problematic content. It can be seen as glorifying suicide. We see Connor as part of the show after he’s died. It’s not Connor-Connor, but the Connor Evan has concocted in his ever-deepening web of deceit. We see Connor become larger than life as the community rallies around “him”. I mentioned the issues I have with Evan’s manipulative behaviour and his being held up as the hero of our story, without any real repercussions. The last part that doesn’t sit well with me, and I could do without, are the homophobic jokes and ribbing that are just left there unaddressed. I know people have let it slide as “part of what teens say” or “that’s just how that character would joke around/be an asshole”. Sure. That doesn’t make it ok, though. We’ve had enough of that. There are lots of folks in the audience that are going to be the butt of that joke. I’M one of the folks who is the butt of the joke. I’m tired of the joke.

We can enjoy something and appreciate the story and also be critical of it. It’s also ok to just go and enjoy the show. It’s a show to enjoy.

As I said way back in the post, we will be seeing it again and taking our 12-year-old, and possibly our soon-to-be-12-year-old who also wants to see it. Dear Evan Hansen won Best Musical for good reason. Check it out while you have the chance. It runs until June 30 at the Royal Alexandra Theatre, Toronto, including an open caption performance on June 9. $25 student rush tickets are available starting at 9am the day of each show. There’s also a neat study guide that can be used after experiencing the show, and it includes some resources around mental health and how to seek help for yourself, as well as how to help a friend who may be in need or suicidal.

They’ve really done an amazing job with this show and the ways to engage with it. I’m really glad I’ve had the chance to see it, and that we’ll get to share it with our kids.

TL;DR Dear Evan Hansen is great. It’s not without some problematic themes, but that isn’t a reason to avoid it.