What Did She Say

My mind is always open

*I published this post on my now-private blog, but wanted it to see the light of day again. I’ve added a bit to the end as well.*

I would like to share some excerpts I found while researching this blog post.
(I know…! I researched!)

I was forced to conform to the ‘norm’ when I was 5 years old. I am now 26 and I recently switched back to my natural preferences. There was a lot of emotional stress and pain attached with it. I never understood why it was so wrong to be the way I was. It caused me a lot of pain through the years that I was forced to be something I was not. I tried to switch back at other times, but felt it was “wrong” and feared negative repercussions. So I finally had it and fought through the pain and ingrained negative stigmas about my preferences. Though I have only been back at it for a week, it feels so natural, I cried and cried because I felt so, so happy, like everything fell into place. That I was me again. All these year it had made me miserable. I am so glad that I finally listened to myself. ~ Mari on commonties blog

If the child will get bullied, surely one should try and discourage the preference!

A gene was found. About 10% of people have this preference. ~ BBC News July 31, 2007

However your children are born – let them be themselves!

You were born to prefer one over the other. No matter how much hand-slapping takes place, what’s normal for you will always return.

There is a long history of using biological differences to call people superior or inferior. ~ Bonnie Spanier, State University of New York

Social scientists generally believe that because about 90 percent of all people have the same tendency, the majority early made a virtue of it and decided there was something queer about anybody who was different. ~ Popular Science, Sept ‘96

It’s not our preference that is devastating. Having this preference is normal. It is the prejudice and cruelty that can be devastating. ~ Rosemany on commonties blog

Christianity is strongly biased toward the “right” tendency. On one count, the bible contains over 100 favourable references to this tendency and 25 unfavourable references to the other.

For thousands of years, the devil has been associated with people having this preference in various ways. They look just like us, they speak our tongue, but be afraid. Thankfully none of our children were born with the affliction. ~ Pop Culturist

Dr Amar J S Klar, PhD argues that a single gene determines our preference. ~ 42inc.com

In Singapore, people are less inclined to stand up for many things. As a result, I find that I have learned to tolerate the “inconveniences” of my preferences. Perhaps, as a minority, I have always felt this was the way things had to be. Thank goodness my mother told my teacher to leave me alone as far as my preferences were concerned. My father was not so lucky. He was forced to “change”. Many people still look at it as an abnormality – something to do away with. I met a woman who categorically told me (despite knowing my preferences) that she had been trying so hard to change her daughter’s orientation. ~ Nic on 42inc

My mother ingrained in me that I was brain damaged because I was totally different from her other 3 children. I can’t tell you what this early programming did to my self-esteem. ~ Mimi

In the 1940s, Abram Blau, a psychiatrist, wrote: These children were the products of cold and inattentive mothers. He also said, This is a neurotic choice made by antisocial individuals.

My mother was raised a STRICT Catholic. She was born with this preference and forced to suppress it. These children are apparently possessed by the devil. Her life was saturated with guilt. At the age of 16 my mother had finally had enough. When  a particularly cruel nun tried to cut off her flaxen hair, my mother grabbed the scissors out of the nun’s hand and turned them on her. She threatened the nun with bodily harm if she ever tried to touch her again. At the age of 16 my mother moved out of the house and left her childhood and Catholicism behind. ~ iprettymuchhateeverything.com

I am different. In 1956, I went to school. On my mother’s advice, I acted like everyone else. “They’ll force you,” she said. Since I was compliant, I was never punished. I hate those like me – those sinister characters who are in the minority. ~ springlink.com Richard Gagnon

At the time I was in school, the teachers tried to force me to change. I remember my parents asking the teachers to let me be who I was.

At the time I was in school (50 years ago), there was no acknowledgement that people like me even existed.

What is it that you think all these are referring to? Being gay? Homosexuality? Nope…. guess again.

All these are about being left-handed.


About 10 percent of the population is left-handed. About 10 percent of the population has counter-clockwise hair whorls (the direction in which the hair on the of your head spins). About 10 percent of the population is homosexual. (source)

Do people think the first two are ‘choices’? No? Then why the hell would the third be?

Is it right to tease and bully someone for being left-handed? For having a counter-clockwise hair whorl instead of a clockwise one? No? Then why the hell is it ok to bully someone for being gay?!

To all those out there using the Bible to defend your stance that homosexuality is ‘against God’ and ‘wrong’…. do you feel the same way about left-handedness? Are YOU left-handed?! There are 25 mentions against left-handedness in the Bible. There are apparently 12 mentions of homosexuality in the Bible. Should you not be WAY more upset about someone being left-handed than about someone being gay?

And while we’re on the subject, I’ve never been a fan of the word “tolerance”. To me, it implies there is something to tolerate. Something that really isn’t ok, but I’m going to “tolerate it” for the sake of peace or something along those lines. When I hear “tolerance” I twitch a little bit.

I much prefer “acceptance”. Acceptance brings a peace. A tranquility. A leveling. It makes us equal. We are accepting EACH OTHER.
It’s a two-way street here. There is no better. No superior. No ‘us”. No “them”. No one should have to fight for the “right” to love who he or she wants (providing the two parties are both adults).


I cannot fathom why we care what race, societal class or gender someone chooses to share his or her life with.


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Categories: Home - Slideshow, Rant

6 Responses so far.

  1. Gloria says:

    Brilliant – thank you for writing and sharing Jacki!
    Everyone is special, all the right handed and left handed folks are just fine the way they are;) Bout’ time we all knew it, it’s only 2014!

  2. Laarel says:

    I actually could NOT discern what the article was about BUT I did feel many of those emotions at school (and I am not left handed) and SO many Kids I work with express the same emotions. Thank you or posting Miss Jacki!!

  3. Wes says:

    Wow Jacki, this is an awesome post. I’m in that 10% of people who are left handed.

    I think you’re absolutely correct in saying that if left handedness isn’t a choice, why would people think homosexuality (or being transgender) is?!

    Well done!

  4. Sharon says:

    I agree. I have a son who is left-handed it’s who he is. I would feel the same way if he were gay.

  5. Jen says:

    Thanks Jacki. You rock!


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